My Story – Early Years

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I don’t know where else to write this, so I thought I’d just start writing and see what happens. It’s kind of a lot to get down and I’m going to have to leave a lot out. But I’m suffering a number of mental issues at the moment and I think a solid stream of consciousness might help me so here we go…

I was involved in a police-involved hostage situation when I was three years old. I guess my sister and I made excellent human shields for whatever bullshit our biological parents were doing. My very first memory is police lights and me screaming out my sister’s name. We were both soon adopted into a loving, Christian pastor’s family with two other sisters and yes, I do believe I may have had a few good years there.

But it’s like, we were forgotten by the time we were in middle school or high school and we had to fend for ourselves. We were basically “warehoused” and not taught ANYTHING about the world except that “the world is evil and God is going to come back and destroy it all”. The religious nonsense was getting stronger and stronger, it was becoming more and more like a weird cult. I knew that the things I was learning in school didn’t mesh with what this ‘mom’ of mine was trying to ‘teach’ us.

I’m a musician and I ended up just going to a music school in Hollywood with all my scholarships and stuff. I could’ve gone to any UC school but no, my parents were too lazy to take any other interest in my life after this. So of course after exiting a cult-like childhood and going to Hollywood, I ended up doing a ton of drugs. I played a lot of shows, I had a lot of sex, I did a lot of crazy shit. I watched my best friend kill herself the same week I found out my biological dad died. I had a nervous breakdown and I quit with only my performance credits left remaining on my Bachelor of Music degree.

I’ve always been in contact with my bio mom and so she helped me leave Hollywood and kind of make something of myself, at least for a while. For a couple of years after music school, I actually helped run a music store in Downey, CA. I also taught some private music lessons and did guitar setups for customers. Life was great for a bit… until I was introduced to heroin.

Part 2 – The Heroin Years